Jordan: The ‘price’ we pay for boredom?

Close Encounters of The Absurd Kind

It seems appropriate, given her recent escapades on ‘I’m a celebrity… get me out of here,’ that Katie Price aka Jordan should become the focus of my first blog.

Despite harbouring feelings of loathing and disgust towards this part human, part plastic, part Botox post-modern creation, she somehow manages to conjure an inexplicable allure that compels me to watch her suffer as she is forced to chow down on monkey testicles (I’m not referring to her sex tape with Dane Bowers) and wash them down with some beetle juice (again not meant as a euphemism)

But what is it about Jordan/Price that makes her so fascinating? Her breasts have now become victim to the whims of gravity so nothing for the male population to perv on, her face is worthy of a brown paper bag and apart from money she doesn’t seem to have too much going for her. Her lucrative contracts are now falling by the wayside and her popularity seems to be dwindling, but still we cannot get enough of her. Since her departure from the celebrity camp, ratings for the show have dropped by 2million!

So again I have to question, what the hell is it about her that keeps us so mesmerised? Well the best response I’ve heard came from a philosophical, broad shouldered (not quite sure why I’m mentioning his shoulders) Russian who offered his opinion that everyone in Britain is bored.

OK, so perhaps this is a slight exaggeration. Clearly not everyone in Britain is bored, but actually the more I think about it, the more I start to think he may have a point. A few years ago I watched her documentary series on BBC3 and found something truly endearing about her. It probably boiled down to a mixture of her willingness to recognise that she is what she is and the fact that she was genuinely quite funny. Her conviction and self belief were inspiring and the added bonus of not being completely deluded as to why she had attained such success (just so we’re clear it’s because of her boobs and not for any other reason) set her apart from the competition.

But that was then and this is now. Once the embodiment of a lot of girls aspirations, this now (hopefully) doesn’t hold true. So is it simply that Jordan has come to represent a society so bored that we have nothing better to do than follow intently as her life slowly falls apart? People clearly don’t like her, hence the 7 bushtucker trials, but still we tune in. In which case, is Jordan in fact a necessary evil, a cure for the financial blues? So now I’m confused. I can’t deny that the very sight of her makes me feel a little uneasy, but at the same time I can’t help but think that she provides a valuable service to the people of Britain and actually we’d be lost without her. She supplies a demand and I can’t blame her for that. Bored or not, Jordan is here to stay.