Forget Kate Moss and heroin chic, Cheryl Cole is bringing you Malaria Chic

Life really does imitate art. And nobody does it better than Cheryl. When it all began there was big hair, big clothes, big discussions about that seemingly useless but nevertheless cherished tattoo, big shoes, big friends and most of all, big love. But a year on the popularity was waning and so was the love-rat footballer husband. Down went the hair extensions (surely the samson-esque superhuman strength of all self-respecting wags?), down came the husband, down came the extravagant couture spectacle and born in its place, a new, pared down, Cheryl. Just a bit more edgy, just a bit more cool and just that bit more Tweedy.

Madonna and Gaga are not the only masters of the revolution. For Cheryl- the nation’s treasure, the x-factor sweetheart (surely no cliche too big) there are still more layers to shed. We should not underestimate the serious nature of Malaria, Cheryl’s first foray into the wide world of Surrey following weeks of recovery has revealed the best Cheryl yet.

It’s painful to admit that there are times when we don’t want to see fashion, when high fashion is crude and inappropriate and just missing the point. Make-up free in her unflattering baggy jeans, sensible flip flops and what can only be described as thermal vests best saved for a chilly night on the ski slopes, we see the true Cheryl- stunning… but fragile, vulnerable and just a little bit normal. Probably how most of us look when we’ve just spent the night clutching the toilet bowl- perhaps minus the strikingly gorgeous cheekbones. And yet, in her least glamorous guise is where her stratospheric popularity will begin again. The nineties had heroine chic with Kate Moss. We now have malaria chic with our very own Cheryl.

Steven Gerrard vs John Terry: the affair, the pregnancy and the England captaincy, but what about THE TRUTH

After England’s shocking World Cup performance, it is no surprise that rumours as to why they were so bad have started.

It is being widely reported that there was a massive split in the England camp, with John Terry and his followers on one side and Steven Gerrard on the other. The story the press is telling you at the moment is that Terry thought Gerrard was a shocking captain, but is that the whole truth???

Whispers are going around Twitter suggesting that it is a far more sordid affair!

Allegedly Steven Gerrard had an affair and got her pregnant. Supposedly the reason this is not in the press is due to a gagging order in place for at least the next two weeks.

As you can imagine, if the rumour is true, John Terry is right to be upset as he was stripped from the captain position following his affair with former Chelsea teammate, Wayne Bridge’s fiancee!

Is there an England player who has not been caught with his pants around his ankles??

Looks like we should rule out Ashley Cole, Wayne Rooney, and Frank Lampard from becoming captain (and they are they ones we know about)!

At this rate, there will be no players left to choose from…

Apparently there are FIVE big stories that have been covered up about England’s performance; if this is one what are the other four???

Cheryl Cole starts divorce proceedings

Cheryl Cole is finally doing what the nation wants, and divorcing dirt-bag husband Ashley Cole.

It is believed that Cheryl will let Ashley keep the £6 million mansion.

A spokesman for Cheryl simply said: “We can confirm the divorce. We have no further comment.”

Cheryl is believed to want a ‘quickie‘ divorce.

Now with divorce proceedings underway, what’s the appropriate amount of time Cheryl has to wait before looking for a new BF???

For more goss follow Papture on Twitter and Facebook

Ashley Cole banned from driving after he drops his appeal

Love-Rat and bad driver Ashley Cole has decided to drop his appeal against his driving ban.

He was banned in January after being caught speeding in a Lamborghini at 104MPH.

Cole, who is now sitting at home not being able to drive himself to trampy sluts’ houses that he has met, has been disqualified for four months and fined £1,000.

Ashley will now have to call himself taxis; at least he has 2 phones!

Just a shame they didn’t lock him up.

But then again maybe he would enjoy that?

Larger then life celebrity couple could tell you about the Pie-rates of the Caribbean

Celebrity couples split-up more often than Lindsay Lohan’s wardrobe malfunctions.

But if only celebrities such as, Cheryl, Ashley, Patsy, Mark Owen etc etc etc (the list really does go on) could learn from Dawn French and Lenny Henry, the world would be a better place.

Yes- they did just divorce after a 25-year long marriage, but they have also remained close to for the sake of 18-year old daughter Billie.

Dawn and Lenny have just got back from holidaying together in the Caribbean.

I can’t see Ashley and Cheryl going on a day trip to Southend-on-Sea let along a week together in the Caribbean!

In the team and in the closet! Is Ashley Cole gay?

The celebrity rumour mill

The celebrity rumour mill is always churning out new delectable gossip for us mere mortals to enjoy. It sells tabloids, causes controversy and most importantly gives us something to discuss over the water cooler when talk about holiday plans run dry. I’ve always wondered whether there is truth to any of the delightful stories that come out of the Sunday newspapers, do they really know all the news of the world or is it just another ploy to sell woodland at a discounted price?? Each week I am going to examine a celebrity rumour and in true detective style, try to figure out what really happened behind the smudged ink and doctored photos.

The first of many rumours to be examined will be one of my favourites. Ashley Cole (like many famous men before him) is in fact gay. Cheryl Cole was (is?? was???) a very well groomed and successful beard and the union that has brought them together was a beneficial one for both of them. Read the rest of this entry »

This time Cheryl Cole is shown the door

Whilst on her European tour, Cheryl Cole bumped into a hotel doorman who seems to have stolen one of her costumes.

Cheryl has kept herself busy since she split from husband Ashley and seems to be enjoying her time in Europe.

Hopefully she can settle down with a nice guy soon, and NOT a footballer!

Cheryl Coke to pen book

Ok, well she probably won’t pen it herself, but at least our favourite pop star is releasing her first official book.

With exclusive never seen before pictures, Cheryl Cole will give you “an intimate glimpse behind the scenes of her busy and fascinating life”.

Unfortunately it seems that love-rat husband, Ashley Cole, will not be getting a mention in this book. However, we can still expect stories from the Girls Aloud star that have never been heard or read before.

Expected at the end of September, Cheryl said:

“I think looking at pictures is a bit like listening to music – it reminds you of what was happening and how you were feeling at certain times in your life. Sometimes I look at old pictures and I can’t believe that was me. I think we all do that. I went through a phase of being a bit tomboyish when I loved trainers and Timberland boots and baggy trousers. I had pink streaks in my hair at one point but I was experimenting and at the time I liked it. I can look at photos and straight away they’ll bring back loads of memories. That’s really why I wanted to do this book, so I could choose pictures that mean something to me and tell the stories that go with them.”

I can’t imagine the book will have as many words as the above statement, but we will wait and see…

When do you think Cheryl Cole should jump back on the sex wagon?

Cheryl Cole, who has been supported by her Girls Aloud band-mates, is in a bit of a pickle after receiving different advice from all of the girls.

They all agree that she should never return to the love-rat Ashley.

But Cheryl, who has been seen all over London without a wedding ring, wants to know how long must she wait before she can officially be back on the dating scene?

Nicola Roberts and Sarah Harding have the most conflicting opinions.

Nicola has told Cheryl wait until Summer, whereas party girl Sarah has said that there is no time like the present and is already organizing a few ‘big nights out’.

Crack on girls!

How long do you think she should wait?

Cheryl Cole: ‘a lot of people have foot fetishes, but they wouldn’t with mine’

Cheryl Cole announced she was feeling a little worse for wear in the Live Lounge this morning, as the previous night she had been out drinking with her Girls Aloud bandmates.

Cheryl had missed the previous Live Lounge performance due to bronchitis, saying instead she had “snuggled in with my dogs”.

Better she snuggle with the dogs than her love-rat husband!

When asked by Fern Cotton ‘is Will I Am in love with you?’ Cheryl quickly responded, “NO”, but went on to say that she would love to keep performing with him.

She performed bare foot, leaving her £600 Louboutins to the side:

“a lot of people have foot fetishes, but they wouldn’t with mine”

She also sang a cover of Owl City’s, ‘Fireflies’.

When asked if she is to be a judge for Simon Cowell on the American X-Factor, Cheryl said that it was just a rumour but she would love the opportunity, although she is worried that they wouldn’t understand her accent.

It may not have been the best performance, but at least this time it was live!