John Terry spirals out of control as Chelsea season goes from bad to worse

After Chelsea drew with Blackburn yesterday, John Terry’s family have not been able to contact him.

The pressure on the ex-England captain is mounting.

Since the news broke about his infidelities, Chelsea have slumped with 5 hammering losses and 2 draws.

This is the worst spell Chelsea have been through in several years.

The Terry family are worried that the Chelsea captain is getting more and more depressed.

Well John there is only one person to blame…

HILARIOUS VIDEO: I’m Just A Glamour Girl by Chenille Steele

We at Papture just love everything about this video!

Favourite lyrics must be:

‘I”ve been spit roasted in Grosvenor House, by the boys from Chelsea FC,

Max Clifford’s on my speed dial, in case I have John Terry’s baby.’

‘I’ve kissed and told on Ashley Cole, and I’ve got 20k from The Sun,

cause I’m just a glamour girl, who likes it up the bum’

Its amazingly rude, but also AMAZINGLY TRUE!

Cheryl Cole and Ashley Cole Officially Split

Cheryl Cole’s PR team have just announced that she is finally divorcing her scumbag husband, Ashley Cole and giving up her WAG status!

“Cheryl Cole is seperating from her husband Ashley Cole. Cheryl asks the media to respect her privacy during this difficult time.

We have no further comment to make.

Supersonic PR”

Good on you Cheryl. I can’t say I am surprised, it is about time.

Since Elin Woods announced that she will ‘stand by her man‘, Tiger, the Cole divorce could be the news story of 2010.

The legal sharks have already started circling as this promises to be a fabulous divorce battle. Although Cheryl is a millionaire in her own right she could still be entitled to a large chunk of Ashley’s larger, multi-million pound Chelsea pay packet.

John Terry is shaking in his boots as he fears that divorcing a footballer will be the new craze of 2010.

What do the Chinese and Sex Therapists have in common?

As Tiger Woods and his wife head to sex therapy together, it’s not just the Chinese who are celebrating the Year of the Tiger.

There is one sex clinic in the USA, who is celebrating too (and cashing in big time).

It is believed that Tiger’s indiscretions have heightened the profile of all sex clinics in the USA and that women are sending their naughty husbands there!

2011: Year of the Chelsea Squad?

Football scandals lead to UK’s first Sex Clinic

Following this last week’s revelation about John Terry‘s extra-marital affairs and The Sun reporting today about Avram Grant‘s visit to a Brothel, it is clear that there is something in the water at Stamford Bridge.

While it is not just Chelsea players who have strayed (Manchester United players have had a few scandals), they seem to have more than their fair share… (Frank Lampard, Ashley Cole, John Terry, even their owner Abramovich had his problems!).

As with any scandal, the oldest and most trusted solution is rehab.

Whoever opens the UK’s first ‘sex clinic’ is going to be raking it in… Special discounts available if you work for Chelsea!